I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
