Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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