Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
