I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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