"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
