Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize