dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
