dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
