Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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