You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My pussy is not your playground.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize