you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize