what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
