Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
