people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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