Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
