he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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