he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
