I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
