he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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