trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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