Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize