i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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