Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
