You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
