Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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