So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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