I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
