wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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