i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you inspire me to be a worse person
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
