I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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