Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
