But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
