Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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