i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
