Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
