I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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