i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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