I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
