dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
