Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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