dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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