Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
