Your face is a jimmy john
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
