yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
