party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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