"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
