That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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