I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
