it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
