He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
