so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
