My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Randomize
