You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
