OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
