her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
