Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
