can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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