My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
