Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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