you guys were way drunker than both of me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He felt like a one man threesome
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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